She laid in the hospital, tired, hanging on to her last days.
Her thin hand was hooked on the IV, her eyes edging upward, wanting to see the last of the world, wanting to look outside the window. Her lips paled with every difficult breath, with every heavy sigh. She remembered the days before her illness worsened.

Everyone avoided her like a deadly plauge in school. She coughed while climbing up the stairs, she wore a mask that covers half her face in case anyone thought she would spread anything unhealthy to them. She walked around school holding her camera, and took shots of her surroundings. Every living thing made her think, and smile. She drew faces people, as if wanting to remember them.

She skipped school when she wasnt feeling well and swallowed pills after pills. Sometimes she spent her time crying about her fate. Her life, her dreams, gone to waste. She couldnt have the chance to fufil them now.

A boy walked in the room, silently. His eyes wished so much so that he was in her place. His footsteps were heavy, and so was his heart. A stray tear rolled down his cheek. The girl looked at him, and gave a weak smile. He smiled, too, and kissed her on the forehead as he sat down, telling her stories, telling her about the world outside, whispering endearments.
She asked: "You know what i'm afraid of?"
He shrugged.
Her voice shaky,she said "I'm afraid of death, I'm afraid of disappearing into darkness and not knowing anything."
He placed his head on her chest and cried.

Two weeks later he rushed into hospital frantically, his heart thumping, blood rushing in his head. She was in a very dangerous condition. The doctor told him to be prepared.
He stayed beside her all night, but went out for an hour in the morning.

He came back, and spent the entire day with her.
that evening, she suddenly started heaving very heavily.
the doctor came in, and told him that her time was up.
He clenched his fists, shivering.
He walked into the room with a bag in his hand.

The girl smiled at him weakly again. She whispered "yeah, i guess my time is up. I've told you not to fall in love with me before. Now you'd be alone."
The boy tugged at the corners at his shirt and smiled at her. He leaned down and kissed her on the lips.
"I never regretted loving you, and i'll still continue to love you forever."
She smiled again, wincing.
"I'm afraid." she said.
"yeah, i know."

He hurriedly took out what he bought the one hour he was away.
Thin tubes of neon lights.

"i'll help you put these on you. you'll never be afraid of the dark anymore. you'll always see the light, and i'd always be here with you, never leaving you."
He helped her put the neon lights of different colours around her. around her wrists, around her ankles, even a huge ring on her head like a halo. She was his one and only angel.

She smiled as she watched him intently. She loved him like she loved her life. He was the person she couldnt stand leaving. She watched him. She never want to forget him.
After he'd finished, he just sat beside her, holding onto her, talking to her.

Her breaths became more and more shallower. And as the sun sets, she whispered
"i love you".
And closed her eyes as her head touched the pillow, for the last time.
She knew he was there for her, she knew that she never had to be afraid of the dark again.

He held her limp body, and cried.
for her loss of her own life.
for the loss of losing her.

Silence was between them as they got on the bus.

They sat down on the seats. She asked him a random question, like if he's okay. He replied yes, and then there was silence again.

Minutes passed. They were staring at opposite sides, looking intensely, and yet without aim, at the scenery fly pass. They both knew they had something troubling them, something wedged between them.

She saw him put his hand at his side on the chair. Without looking into his eyes she placed her hand on top of his and squeezed it reassuringly, hoping that she would make things okay.
He looked at her, hurt etched in his eyes, a million thoughts running through in his mind that she couldnt quite make out no matter how hard she tried.

His hand didnt move. It stayed, limp, unwilling to accept. She turned his hand over and touched it gently, afraid, insecure. There was so much she would like to say, so much she would like to comfort him, see his smile. She swallowed hard. She tightened her grip on his hand so hard, searching for security, searching for comfort. She had been hanging in there for so long, and she's not going to breakdown now.

His hand moved slightly. It hesitated for a while, held her hand lightly, covering her fingers in his. She sighed. The hesitation in his movement then became more certain, as he sighed too, and tightened his grip on her. Warmth flooded through her for a second. He struggled to let go, and let his hand go at that moment, looking away. She retracted her hand, hurt engulfing over her.
She knew she had to be strong.

A few moments passed again.
She thought about things, the hurt and pain she's caused him, the immense sacrifice he's done for her. Her heart wrenched with pain.
She grabbed his hand and held it, tight.
He didnt reject her.

The bus came to their stop.
They started walking.
They were walking at the same footsteps. right, left, right, left.
She once again asked him he was okay.

He staggered, and said yes.
They started walking again, this time, their footsteps different this time.

She looked on the ground.
She knew she've hurt him. He's her life.
His pain is hers.

In the midst of her thoughts, she suddenly felt him pull her to him, hugging her tight, so hard, almost crushing her. She could feel the rushing emotions flowing through him, all the many times of insecuritiy, of keeping things in a bottle, of having his heart weighed down and staying strong.
She could feel all these from him. At the next moment, he was heaving and sighing heavily between sobs.
She held him tight, and told him it was all okay. Tears of assurance then raced down her cheeks too. All the times of being strong just went lose--broke free.

They smiled, and walked down the street together.

___________________________

NICE STORY RIGHT!
Suddenly felt the inspiration coming.
I remembered the days i used to love coming up with stories and emo plus touching stuff.
Today i suddenly had this inspiration again!
shit. i think im mad. HOHO.

SYF in 19 days.
7 more practices.
Jy mann.

Life's hard.
My damn parents forced me to cut my hair short and made me look like a freak, and even wants to meet msfaith cos my resutls are crap. Shit them mann.

Tmro's earth hour! off ur lights!
:D

So much has happened.
this has been a crappy week. hwk, trouble, getting into more, more trouble. MAN.

only good news in the week. I GOT TO SIT WITH regNUM 29 in class from mon! :DDDD

Kay but i'll miss nugget SO MUCH. sigh.

win, & lose some.

Homework done:none.
Days left: 1
Situation: Screwed.

flu. signess. blah.

Security.

Seems that i've been seeking for it since i was a child.

Even now, i'm still constantly searching for it every time.

for what sense of comfort there is there.

for me.

and you seem to have it all.

with an embrace, it satisfys. and the best part of it?

It's only for me.

-------

in a whirlwind.
sucking me in.

i want, i wanna.

so many things that i want.

but they seem so far away.

nuggetys are poor 'lil things.
but we have each other(:

Let's just say that this year's birthday is the best ever. [and so far]
Nugget brought me out on 15th.
She surprised me with handmade sushi!! in the initials I LOVE U.

I was damn touched.
And she brought me to make sticker names:D

And she didnt tell me anything about these! so imagine how surprised i was.
First time anyone's done something so nice for me.
I was, damn touched.

She also brought me to eat some very interesting foods. First times too.

There's always a first time when im with nugget.
She's exposing me outside of my rock xD
Love her.

On my bday evening, i was treated to a great dinner by sy.
<3 it was a wonderful day. [or night?]
and time flies. ><

How i wish birthdays would come more than once a year.
But then again, maybe not. then it wouldnt be special.

Ahh. whole holidays taken up by sch stuff.
My mum says that i sold me life to Css.
kindaf true for everyone,aye?

Anw, 15 councillors went to Jurong Pri to be their Facillitators for their Leadership camp.
Omg now i know how OUR facils feel when they take us.
Fun, but TIRING.
Gosh it's like we have to look after them. the small p5 kids. they rely on us alot, but they're interesting creatures xD
hoho. Led them, had fun with the games, cheering and all.
First time being Facils.
And it's real cool.

And the best part is that now almost every of the 15 councillors who went have a cool clap for themselves:D

At night, we talked, did magic tricks, and went to explore the sch. It was damn hilarious. We were walking through a dark alley. Then there were green lights coming out of the computer lab. It was really scary. Then as we walked some more, junjie saw a red light flashing and edged back quickly. Then everyone got scared and rushed down 2 flights of stairs, but started laughing after that.
Then we went to the fitness corner to talk about some ghostly stuff.
By that time, we already only had 3 hours of sleeping time.
So when we ended, we just dragged ourselves to catch some sleep.

2nd day wasnt really stressful. they broke camp quite early.
Will kindaf miss them.
Anw, on the second day, we were damn damn damn tired.
When we went for CCA, elaine me and zhiming were so tired that we slumped on the floor, and also that our eyelids kept shutting when we're singing the songs.
hoho.

That's all for now.
Gonna go for choir soon.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. [and aloy] :D

Time flies, and now i'm fifteen!
fifteen, the year of maturity, stress, responsibility, exposure to reality.

Ahh im old.
xD

Ytd the peeps did sth really sweet for me!

They combined money to buy me a cat present which nicole chose.
Bin baked a cake too and during recess they lit the candles and sang a bday song!
[while aloy gets raped >< ]
It's damn sweet, and i can really feel my heart melting!
I mean, nobody have ever done this for me before..
I'm really touched.
(:
Thanks guys! y'all rock. (3/3 mah:D)

And at 12 midnight tday i recieved lotsa birthday messages too!
So many, even from people whom i didnt expect would rmb.
Thanks guys!
Love y'all!

All these really made my day=)

In council today, was kindaf stressed out 'cos i couldnt present the ppt properly. Ahh.
In choir today, they sang me birthday song..And emily, pearlynC, elaine, reine and sinwoon went to eat lunch with me. elaine left to meet her friend, so the rest of us had mad fun. HOHO.

Emily, Shiting, Plum and Amanda did sth really sweet for me too!
Handmade present=)

Fifteen, Fifteen. 15.
Still such a foreign number.

Haha hope that tday will be a great day!

Think back to these few months.

Time's been flying so fast and it's hard for everyone to catch their breaths.

And my blog is like, dead?

hoho.

Ahh im not doing well at all for the first term. gonna get killed by my parents.
And i realise i've been slacking too much.
Gotta get my brain in the right direction.
Flunking too much.

SYF's on the roll.
D-day is 16 April. Wed. 17:30
39 days more and counting.
practices have become more fast-paced. but i like that feeling.

Debate competition on wed. wanna get it over and done with. wasting so much time and effort on it. So tired. Sick of missing lessons and all.

Decisions, decisions. must make the right ones.

AHH aaron sry i couldnt go for the gathering today.):
y'all have fun..

Today in choir, PearlynC kept imitating Zhisheng, bryan and junwei. She made me laugh like mad and my ulcer hurt. And then i realised how much they've changed, how much they've grown. PC was like "i like the sec 2 bryan better". Haha i was like "mature alrd mah!"
Then i, too realise how much everyone has changed.
And i realise i miss 2/3 people alot.
I miss them, I miss us cranking the teachers up, i miss us breaking window panes, i miss the noise, i miss us having simple yet fun gatherings at East Coast Park or Escape theme park. Simple happiness and the strong bond and trust.
I miss us being special.

Sigh kay enough of the reminisence.
xD

Turning 15 next sat. Old lady already. tsk ><